OIL CHANGE Oil Change Instructions for Women. - Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.
- Drink a cup of coffee.
- 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.
Money Spent:
| Oil Change | $20.00 | | Coffee | $ 1.00 | | Total | $21.00 |
Oil Change Instructions for Men: - Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00.
- Stop by 7-11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20.00, drive home.
- Open a beer and drink it.
- Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
- Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
- In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
- Place drain pan under engine.
- Look for 9/16" box end wrench.
- Give up and use crescent wrench.
- Unscrew drain plug.
- Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil, splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.
- Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
- have another beer while watching oil drain.
- Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
- Give up, crawl under car and hammer a screw driver through oil filter and twist off.
- Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
- Buddy shows up: finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener.
- Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in back yard instead of taking it back to Checker to recycle.
- Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
- Beer? No, drank it all yesterday.
- Walk to 7-11, buy beer.
- Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
- Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
- Remember drain plug from step 11.
- Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
- Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard along with the drain plug.
- Drink beer.
- Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily dirt into the hole. Steal sand from kids sandbox to cleverly cover oily patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in lawnmower gas.
- Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
- Drink beer.
- Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipes eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug.
- Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
- Begin cussing fit.
- Throw stupid crescent wrench.
- Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.
- Beer.
- Clen up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
- Beer.
- Beer.
- Dump in 5 quarts of fresh oil.
- Beer.
- Lower car from jack stands.
- Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.
- Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during steps 23-43.
- Beer.
- Test drive car.
- Get pulled over, arrested for driving under the influence.
- Car gets impounded.
- Call loving wife, make bail.
- 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.
Money spent:
| Parts: | $ 50.00 | | DUI: | $2500.00 | | Impound fee: | $ 75.00 | | Bail: | $1500.00 | | Beer: | $ 40.00 | | Total: | $4165.00 |
But you know the job was done right! |
 | Events |  |
| May 8th, 2007 | Northstar Mustang Club Meeting | | May 20/sup>, 2007 | Art Olson Swap Meet & Car Show, ille, West Fargo 8 am – 4pmg | | May 22nd, 2007 | Northstar Mustang Mid-Month Activity - Hooligan's ?? Meet there and eat, 6:30 | | June 1-2nd, 2007 | Devils Run Car Show, Devils Lake, ND | | June 1-2nd, 2007 | Sisseton Car & Motorcycle Show, Sisseton, SD | | June 2nd, 2007 | Apple Valley Car Show, Apple Valley, MN | | June 7th, 2007 | Downtown Cruise Night – Northstar Mustang Club is sponsor | | June 9th, 2007 | Car Show in Hawley, MN in conjunction with Rodeo | | June 8-9th, 2007 | Classtiques Rod Run, Riverwood RV “On the Strip” Mandan, ND | | June 9-10th, 2007 | Buggies and Blues, Mandan, ND | | June 12th, 2007 | Northstar Mustang Club Meeting | | June 15-16th, 2007 | Rally in the Valley, Valley City, ND (Registration is at Rosebud Visitor Center) | | June 23rd, 2007 | Classic Car Show at Wells County Fair Grounds, Fessenden, ND | | June 23rd, 2007 | Grafton Summerfest 2007, Leistikow Park in Grafton, ND 1-4 pm | | June 24th, 2007 | Car Show and Swap Meet, Douglas County Fairgrounds, Alexandria, MN | | June 25th, 2007 | Northstar Mustangs Mid-month - Picnic at Elmwood Park, West Fargo | | July 10th, 2007 | Northstar Mustang Club Meeting | | July 21st, 2007 | Downtown Street Fair Car Show - Island Park | | August 14th, 2007 | Northstar Mustang Club Meeting | | September 8th, 2007 | Northstar Mustang Club All Ford Car Show, Luther Family Ford, Fargo | | September 11th, 2007 | Northstar Mustang Club Meeting | | October 9th, 2007 | Northstar Mustang Club Meeting | | November 13th, 2007 | Northstar Mustang Club Meeting | | December 11th, 2007 | Northstar Mustang Club Christmas Party at Courtyard by Marriott, Moorhead |
 | Trading Post |  |
| Cars For Sale: | 1967 Mustang Coupe with new extra parts, 200, AT, $3500 Call Terry or Wendy 282-0954
| | 1973 460 complete, no accessories, $250. Call Todd 793-0919
| | 1974 Comet, 4 dr, 302, 88,000 miles, runs great, rusty Call Henriette 235-9575
| | 1966 Mustang Coupe, Red, Cragar SS Wheels, Standard Interior, Auto, 289, $10,000. Call 701-361-5085
| | 1972 Mach 1 nice shape 351C 4V $15,000 Contact Shannon 297-6806
| | 1966 Mustang Convertible 289 Candy-Red w/black interior completely restored Kathy & David Kuntz wk 232-8788 hm 293-6799 |
| | Parts for Sale: | 351W 4V cast iron intake manifold, $75. 351C 4V cast iron intake manifold, $75. Pair of 69 Mustang tail lamp assys, $40. 1971 Honda CB 350, runs, restorable, $400. Call Jim 218-779-2715
| | 408 Windsor Parts for Sale: SCAT cast crank, New, 4" stroke, 3" main bearings, $350. Lentz rods, used, 3/8" cap screws, perfect condition, $400. SFI dampener, New, C.A.T. - 28 oz, $200. 351W, 79 block with crank, rods, and pistons, $100. Cobra intake for a 351, ported lower, $450. Also various other parts from the Mark VII and Fox-Body Mustang parts Call Tom at 701-237-3351, or email mohody@msn.com |
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